I recommend doing many — if not all — of the following coping skills and techniques once a day when experiencing depression. It's important to know you probably won't be motivated to do any of them at first because depression frequently saps motivation. In other words, know that it's normal to feel unmotivated until you're halfway done.
The patients I work with who frequently practice these coping skills get better. The seven techniques can be memorized with the acronym MY PEERS.
This structured approach highlights the importance of consistent practice in overcoming depression. Even when it feels difficult, taking the first step leads to gradual improvement and long-term benefits.
1. Meaning
Find small ways to be of service to others. Discover personal meaning by serving something larger than yourself. Remember that service doesn't have to be big to count. Consider this thought from Viktor E. Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning: “Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.”
2. Your Goals
Find workable goals that give you a sense of accomplishment. Many people feel guilty when talking about goals because they often set unreasonable or unworkable expectations. A goal is workable if it's something you can control, manageable, realistic for you, and measurable.
If something goes wrong with your goal, adopt a “what can I learn from this?” attitude instead of a judgmental one. Be cautious when comparing your progress with others; we usually compare our biggest weakness with another person's biggest strength, which is unfair and often inaccurate.
3. Pleasant Events
Schedule pleasant activities or events. Don't wait until you're “in the mood.” Give yourself permission for a 30-minute “vacation” or schedule a healthy hobby daily. Practice gratitude by noticing what went well today, not just what went wrong. Consider keeping a gratitude journal to reinforce positive reflection. Being grateful does not mean discounting your struggles — it simply helps balance your perspective.
4. Engagement
Stay in the present moment. This practice, often called mindfulness, encourages you not to be stuck in self-judgment. While you may not be able to turn off self-criticism entirely, you can notice it and gently redirect yourself back to the present.
Research shows that people with higher self-compassion also tend to have higher self-worth or self-confidence. For those struggling with self-compassion, resources such as Kristin D. Neff's website or Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction courses can be very helpful.
5. Exercise and Nutrition
Engaging in moderate exercise about five times a week for 30 minutes can dramatically improve mood. Moderate exercise is defined as activity intense enough to make it difficult to sing from your diaphragm while doing it. Nutrition is equally important; what you eat affects how you feel. Avoid frequent binges on carbs, junk food, and energy drinks. You don't need fad diets, but moderation is key to supporting mental health.
6. Relationships
Focus on people who lift you up. Depression worsens when we isolate ourselves. Interact regularly with people who support and encourage you, while avoiding those who bring negativity. While some alone time is healthy, maintaining a balance with social connection is vital to recovery.
7. Sleep Regularly
Keep a consistent sleep schedule with neither too little nor too much sleep. Irregular patterns, such as staying up late one night and sleeping in excessively the next, worsen depressive symptoms. Avoid problem-solving late at night when your brain is fatigued and less effective.
Conclusion: The Path to Healing
As you practice these coping skills, know that you're actively working toward overcoming depression. Depression tends to linger when people make excuses to avoid these steps. Regardless of medication, incorporating these daily activities is essential. Though they may take time and effort, consistent practice builds resilience and well-being.
These coping skills may not bring immediate relief, but they are investments in your future. If we don't take time to be well now, periods of “unwellness” may be forced upon us later. With patience and persistence, healing is possible.